An Open Letter to Bre Alcorn

16 Dec

There are so many things I would love to say to you Bre, but I haven’t the slightest idea where to start. SO here it goes….. I LOVE YOU TO THE MOON and BACK and that is one thing that will never change. I loved it when you lived with us when we were younger, I loved taking care of you, and teaching you the things that siblings teach each other.  I want to see you make good decisions and have a full, HAPPY life. It breaks my heart to see the path you are headed down. We all struggle at some point deciding what is right and what is wrong. We all get a little lost, but it is how you pick yourself up that truly matters.

Right now you aren’t picking yourself up though, you continue to bury your head in the sand and run. You are running with a no good piece of scum and I hope you realize it sooner than later. The ride I am sure has been fun, but it is time to pull the string and get off the ride.

You are no longer a teenager or a child, you are an adult with a baby at home and one on the way….Shape it up.

Now that I have given my love to you I must give you the real feelings of myself and everyone who knows you.

Kyle at Birth

 

Take a good long look at the photo to the right. This sweet baby was born from YOUR body….Completely dependent on his family. A beautiful little baby boy who did not ask for you to be his mother. I am sure if babies could hope, he would certainly wish for a new mother, one who loves him, one who looks after him when he is sick, and one who just spends time with him, nurturing him.  He didn’t ask for you to not be ready for him. ALL HE ASKS IS FOR LOVE.

     How can you look into his eyes and not want him? Pack up and run off with some guy and not have a second thought about leaving your son? How can you birth a child and have no emotional connection with him? How can you not feel the bond of the boy you carried for 9 months while you nurtured him?

Drugs can do some strange things to people, and I will be the first to admit that I have had my own battles with addiction.

A lot has happened in the last few months, but let me tell it to you as the public sees in as I am sure in your haze you cannot.

1. you broke up with a great guy.
2. You got with a loser
3. Next the drugs and a drug induced coma

4. Your ran off and left your 2 yr old with said loser.

6. Get pregnant with losers baby.

7. You steal drugs from some gangbangers.

8. Boyfriend turns you guys in over stealing the drugs.
9. You have court now.
10. Jamie has custody of Kyle
11. Your doing drugs while preggo with the next.

and this moron is going back to jail for awhile.

Kyle 3

This sounds all so fascinating but cut this shit out. We love you and want you to get better, but it isnt possible with Jonathan Cartee around and you doing dope. Take care of your unborn like you did with the first and let us help you.

Please! If you need anything and are willing to put in the effort for yourself and you kids please feel free to call me, no judgement just love!

kyle 4

Micro-Hiatus, because They are Easy!

14 Aug after 2

I took a small break that ended up totalling a couple of weeks. I feel pretty bad, but it is time to get back on this train to fitness train and not dwell on it. Currently I am sitting at 189 pounds, with my first goal of 180 pounds approaching fast! YAY ME! It has been a journey. A long, hard journey. I started in January and have magically went from 260 pounds down to where I stand now. No small feat and it doesn’t happen overnight. Thats for sure! These past few days I have been struggling with what type of program or regimen for working out I should do. If you have any suggestions please feel free to leave me a msg! For now I suppose I will stick with the 30 day shred that is turning into the 60 day shred!

This is before the magic happens! 207-208 pounds

This is before the magic happens! 207-208 pounds

Image

after the 30 day shred.

Image

Side view after the 30 day shred

I am going to leave you some tips that have helped me with shredding the weight.

1. Get Plenty of sleep. You do not burn near enough calories without sufficient sleep, heck did you know you burn calories while sleeping?

2. Take your weight and divide it by half and consume that many ounces of water.
ex. I weigh 189. Divide by half and that equals 94. Drink as many ounces of that in water a day!

3. Portion control. Go buy some child sized plates and eat off of it. I even eat with the baby spoons and forks for the most part. If you aren’t used to seeing the correct portion get in the habit of measuring it out, just so you can have an idea of how much you should be eating.

4. Put the flipping fork down in between bites. Chew your food good. Maybe even have a conversation with someone instead of just shoveling it in.

5. Get active. I know it is tough at first, and you will think of every excuse not to do it…….BUT JUST DO IT! Get in cardio first and mix in some strength and toning.

Strive to be better!
❤ you guys!

Finished.

1 Aug

I have been finished with the 30 day shred for a week or 2 now, and just haven’t had a chance to post. As you know I started out at 207? Well I finished at 196. I haven’t done any waist measurements or taken any pictures but imagine this…..

I lost 11 pounds and I am back in my Super skinnies….now to get this excess flab off…..On to the Ripped and Shredded in 30 I suppose. It worked wonders for me. If you have the dedication I would suggest doing it. Highly worth it….My best friend who is significantly smaller than me has lost 6 pounds so far, while doing it too.

Day 8 of the dreaded 30 Day Shred

26 Jun

Well, today marks the 8th day I have been doing this crap. I figured I would let you guys know 1) I haven’t died, and 2) I am really beginning to notice some small changes. My arms and legs are slimming down along with the flabby baby belly!

I thought for sure this would be much tougher than it actually is. I mean if your out of shape it is tough, don’t get me wrong, but I absolutely thought I was going to die after day 1. Now come day 8 and I am loving it. It creates so much positive energy throughout the rest of the day when I work out early.

I want to give a shout out to all the ladies going through this journey with me, KEEP ROCKING IT!

So far I’d have to give it a thumbs up. When I hit level 2 I might be crying haha.

This is day 7 coming in at 202 pounds.

This is day 7 coming in at 202 pounds.

This is before the magic happens! 207-208 pounds

This is before the magic happens! 207-208 pounds

Day 1

19 Jun

Most of you know I have struggled with weight issues for some time now. After a huge weight loss a couple of years back, I found out I was pregnant. I gained 52 pounds just from the pregnancy and even more after he arrived. Time to nip that in the bud again. I decided today that I am going to do the Jillian Michael’s 30 Day Shred. What is that you say? Yes I know I am crazy!

I have never been big on numbers and posting weight and measurements, but for the purpose of this shred, I think it is important. A way to compare where I am now, with where I will be at the end. Currently I am 207 pounds (whew I know), however I am content with how my body looks in clothes.

This is before the magic happens!

This is before the magic happens!

I am just trying to get healthy and fit again for my son.

Okay, well I did Day 1, on level 1! It was tiring, but I love the set-up. It is 3 mins of strength, 2 mins cardio, and 1 min abs. Kind of makes the whole thing go by a lot faster than you would imagine. I definitely do not think I was ready for all this, but I pulled it together and got through it today. Let’s see how sore I am tomorrow.

I will keep you ladies and gents updated as much as I can. I will try and check in weekly on the progress of my shred.

If you want to join me, leave me a little msg and I will get a group started so we can go at it together, discuss difficulties or concerns, recipes or whatever…LET’S GET IT BITCHES!

love always,
*AA*

Drink and Let Drink

10 Jun

I have always talked about water safety, and even drinking and water safety. If you cannot control your alcohol intake or get faded fast please just don’t drink ha! I am a mom, I parent differently than maybe my best friend and even you other moms. Does that make the way you do it wrong? Nope, not at all! That isn’t what this is about. It never is!

I so cool, I let the kidlets drink because I do, NOT!

I so cool, I let the kidlets drink because I do, NOT!

I will never hide things from my son. I want him to feel like we can talk openly, or at least as openly as possible. I want him to know he can come to me no matter what (sex, alcohol, and drugs). With that being said, why would I not drink in front of the kidlets? It would be contradictory to my lifestyle. I feel like I was never a horrible drinker because my parents were open with me about alcohol. If it worked on us I am hoping it will work on mine! Not the best motto, but for this it works.

Some parents do get the luxury of shipping their kidlets off when they want to have some adult fun, but It isn’t my families job to parent my child. That will be left for me and the hubs to do! Not to mention, we are an unlucky breed that doesn’t get a lot of days to ourselves anyways or family that is available to watch baby Linus. Does that mean we shouldn’t cease the day? OH FUCK NO, we would go insane!

What’s the point of this here story you ask me? STOP BEING JUDGEY AND PUSHY WITH WHAT OTHER PARENTS DO! Accept the fact that different methods work for different families a move along! Offer your opinion when it is asked for a not a moment sooner! Mind your business thats all, just mind ya business (from an old tv show haha)!

Asho

I Hope My Distant Memories Never Fade Away

29 May

Every single last time I go to write about what it is I want to write about, I forget. Yeah, I know….what kind of blogger am I? Well I am me, that is all, nothing more and nothing less. That is what you will get here. On a side note….

Just thought you may wanna know...

Just thought you may wanna know…

ANYWAYS

 

I am not even sure where to start, okay well, I registered for my classes in the fall. I have 2 so far and need some fillers. Calculus II and Art. I saved art for the end on purpose. I am artistic? No, okay I lied. I am not in the least bit artistic, but I love art! That counts I am sure.  I will most likely be taking it with the BFF who is just starting her college journey as I am closing up mine. I will graduate this fall with an Associates of Applied Science and an Associates in Pre-nursing, where I will start working and my BSN journey. Minor in Spanish. Kinda a big deal around here. Not many go on to college or to even do anything.

Memorial Day happened this week too. Did you know that? I forgot until last minute, I feel ashamed. A lot of my family is or was Military. Remember that post I did about my grandpa? If you didn’t feel free to check it out.

I feel like I need to take the time and let you know my reflection on the somber and exciting day a day for Memory! I feel so amazingly blessed to live in a country that may fight for my life and freedom, even if not completely free, ya know? To stop their life to fight. That means giving up their own

Our Memorial Day Collage

Our Memorial Day Collage

This was my son in 2012 on Memorial day and this is him this year On Memorial Day 2013

This was my son in 2012 on Memorial day and this is him this year On Memorial Day 2013

families or even the ultimate sacrifice their life…..for you and for me. Even if you don’t support the countries president or whatever you have where you live or other officials, the soldiers deserve some respect. Okay so here is this day for them. What should we, the people do on this day?

Well I say we should BBQ, swim, drink, and whatever it is your family or friends likes (watching movies, being lazy, spending it with the kids etc). I do not think they would want us over here feeling bad for having fun, after all isn’t

Some of the Fam

Some of the Fam

that what they are fighting for, so we have the chance to do as we please. So pardon me when I do just that and BBQ, drink, spend time with family, puff the occasional fatty and whatnot. Now I know a lot of people think oh yeah this isn’t about BBQ’s and having fun or whatever, but YEAH IT KIND OF IS (yeah I seen the memes going around fb)!

My cat, oh my sweet cat, Died late Memorial Night. He has had a brief battle with AIDS after getting into a fight with an infected cat down the road. His journey ended. He was 14 years old, how fitting. This cat I tell you he was a warrior always holding his own and watching over us and the kids. Pets become like family and it is always sad to see them pass.

The BIFF and I decided to take the kids to Pizza Hut today (just so happens her mom works there). Scored some free grub, then loaded the kids up took them to the park. Played our asses off and decided it was too damn hot for that crap today. Left and hit up the sprinklers while us mamas got our tan on….um if tanning means ending up looking like lobster that is. My baby fell in the grass today and his newly broken

At the Park

At the Park

tooth started to bleed. He brushed it off. Parted ways with the biff to meet up with the cuz and hubby to do some swimming.

It has been a busy week already and shows no signs of slowing down. If you could ship some wine my way that would be greatly appreciated…..possibly even a spa day? I need it on top of my wifely and mother duties, however throughout all of this I remain humbled at how great people actually are. How blessed I am to call myself a wife, mother, and friend. The little moments truly have been the best in my life and I cannot wait to keep making more memories with the people who mean the most to me. Let’s cheers to not taking advantage and for granted of what we actually have for once. 

Helplessly Devoted

20 May

walk a mile in my shoesThis is a tough subject to broach with no conflict or judgement, but this will be my attempt at some hope instead of being helplessly devoted. Okay my son was on Government or state insurance until he was 1. That means the hubby and I have been trying to find some kind of insurance that is affordable. Although we cannot really afford any extra bills at this time, there is obviously some importance in having health coverage right? Yes ma’am there is! I haven’t found anything yet, and let me tell you, I have been feeling less of a parent for it. Let me further break it down for you:

He has his well visit coming up (was supposed to be at the end of the week). They want all the money up front which is 190 bucks for the actual visit, and then 15 bucks for each vaccine he needs, I think he needs 3 or 4. Yes I vaccinate, get over it, not what this is about here. OKay that’s pretty simple huh? Well yesterday my son was walking outside and didn’t lift his foot high enough from the grass to the sidewalk. All I could do was watch it happen, as if it was replaying in slow motion. His face bounced off the sidewalk, and it was one of those head smashers you can hear. LOUD! Like any well to do parent, I freaked out. After all this isn’t someone else’s child I can help fix, this is my little 15 month old baby. Momma’s boy. Now he has a busted nose and lips, cracked tooth and some scratches.

Sweet baby Linus watching the rain come falling down.

Sweet baby Linus watching the rain come falling down.

Which means he needs to go see a dentist. You realize how much it cost a new patient to go see a dentist? and a child at that?

I guess they see little tiny humans and think okay we can gouge their parents eyes out because what option do they really have? Sucks, pretty much for the hard-worker who is trying to do everything right.

I can’t help but think I’ve been failing as a parent. Nothing is worse than giving it your all and falling short on what your child needs. Its embarrassing. I understand these are my own internal demons, but gah pride is definitely too blame. We never

Linus on the 4th of July Last year.

Linus on the 4th of July Last year.

want to disappoint our children and want to provide them with all the things they need and obviously some things they want. What happens when you feel like you are doing them a disservice, because you literally have no assets or money for something they need?

I can work with payments, but the world has gone to hell in a handbasket and payments are not a loud. I could never work in billing, because let me just say, if I ran across a child with no insurance you can bet your sweet ass I would be doing some illegal shit to get them seen.

What’s the point you ask? Well nothing really, besides I needed to cry and vent. I needed to feel like I hadn’t let my son down. I need to feel Devoted and not HOPELESSLY DEVOTED. There is a tunnel with the light at the end, I am just not close enough yet. TIME my friends. God has got this one, because momma needs help right about now.

Some days we want to freeze, stop the bad from continuing, but we have to woman up and take it, women are some of the strongest people I know for all we have to endure. The worry, the money,

Just in case you wanted to know, this is what it looks like after you get ya big girl pantaloons on.

Just in case you wanted to know, this is what it looks like after you get ya big girl pantaloons on.

the heartache from our babies leaving the nest, homework that never got finished….it will always be something else, something more to handle, time to saddle up and put my big girl panties on and deal with it like the raging lunatic I am.

A-Z of ME

18 May

There is really so much I could tell you, but I guess starting with the basics is a good way to go!

Well, I am Ashley (*AA* from The Dirty Diaper on FB). I have a wonderful hubby, who is just as crazy as me. We made a son who is now 15 months old (as of yesterday) his name is Linus. Well that isn’t his birth name, but it would be totally cool if it was. He carries around a blanket and is usually dirty (CHARLIE BROWN), so that’s where the name comes from. I wouldn’t expect to see a lot of pics or anything of my husband. He is kind of anti computer. He has a fb but its only because I set it up for him.

Oh, it's just me and the hubby, but mostly me haha!

Oh, it’s just me and the hubby, but mostly me haha!

Linus on his first Birthday!

Linus on his first Birthday!

Enough about them, this blog is about me, haha No really I talk about them a lot. They are my family.

I am from a small small town in Tennessee. Redneck if you will. I have lived in the same house for 24 years, well almost 24 yrs I moved out for a year and a half. Apartment life just isn’t for us! Inspections and all kinds of other privacy violations. You wouldn’t know it because I am making a blog, but we are some private people. Now we are 5 deep in a 3 bedroom house with one bathroom. Expect to hear more about this, it blows six ways to Sunday, ya dig?

I have a strong personality, and can sometimes be conflicting with people. If I come off rude, well most of the time I don’t mean it, but sometimes I do! I am just blunt….I do a lot of unconventional things that most people would consider crazy. I don’t think it’s that crazy…..It’s just life!

EXPECT NO JUDGEMENT HERE, JUDGEMENT FREE AREA!

I feel like it is a must to touch on my Dirty Diaper Family. They have become so important to me over the last few months, and cannot imagine not having some of you wonderful ladies in my life.

It's all us TDD Admins

It’s all us TDD Admins

Hey, they have blogs too, go to the menu bar on this page and their names are there. Come on try it, just click a name, you won’t be disappointed. We are all so different yet get along so well.

I give lots of advice even if not really asked for it, I’ve been through more than my face and 24 yrs can ever begin to reveal. I am sure I will share at some point about some of these things.

MAKE ME OLD

MAKE ME OLD

DID I MENTION I HAVE A POOL, so you might have to pry my cold dead body from the pool to get me in here and write, maybe get some funny drunken holiday stories (4th of July is always crazy here).

If you call me a redneck I promise I won’t be offended. It’s a way of life I wouldn’t trade for the world. Some of the nicest people here in TN, however you can also run into the “I wanna kill everyone’s spirit” person. Those people are everywhere, don’t let it get ya down.

As you can see I have ADHD, cannot focus on one topic for more than a few minutes. SO be prepared for my scatter brained chaos to ensue.

Real life as it comes, be prepared, we will talk about anything from the alphabet to the moon and back.

Oh yeah here is some more me haha

Yup you guessed it, it's me!

Yup you guessed it, it’s me!

National Guard

16 May

Well I know I have talked a lot about this man on facebook, I guess I owe it to him and the fans to say something about it here. Kind of put a face and picture together in one place so you can truly understand. My grand-paw passed away May 8th of this year, and let me tell you it was rough. Everyone knew this day was approaching, but I still found myself mad at the world, WHY did this have to happen to me was my first thought…I know how selfish? I wasn’t thinking about the real picture here. I know we all have different faiths and now is not the time to debate them, but in my faith or religion I believe in God, Therefore the only conclusion that that can be drawn is he is in a better place, right? YES. Again he is not struggling for his kidneys to work, which they weren’t at all, his heart is good and new, and most of all he can breath with ease.

    After listening to tons of inspiring songs artists like Hank Jr, Mumford & Sons and some Shinedown, I think I figured out things were going to be okay…never great but okay. Some kind of peace ran over me, as if God himself touched my soul and said, “hey get your ass in gear, you have done this before.” I pulled it together!

No matter what happens, we are Men and Women and we can make it though ya know?

So I leave you with this pic of my grand-dad, in his honor, since he fought for the freedoms that you and I get to live with (the Army National Guard).

Grand-dad 1

Things that make ya say hmm

16 May

ImageO
 Okay, so I am here writing a blog! Not really sure what I am doing or where to begin as this is all so new to me. Let me give it a try. Most of you know me from The Dirty Diaper as *AA*. I started that page and now I am starting this page. We will see how it goes ya dig? like say a month or so! 

     I don’t want to give away too much before I make the page public, but stay tuned and I will give you a brief history on myself and all the different kinds of crazy I can offer in my dysfunctional little world!

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